Hampton Roads Club Mini

A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO
 VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.
 
 WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN, HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE
 DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
 
 HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS
 OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY
 DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG
FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP
 TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
 
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS
 AT A TREE. "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT
 SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."
 
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383
 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER.."

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND
 STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH
 THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A
 BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

 "THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD
 FEET."
 
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS
 BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
 
 ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND
 THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD
 THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT
ONE?"
 
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, "WHITE
 OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."
 
 THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE
 A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE
 IS.
 
 AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS
 BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
 
 HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER
 THERE?" "I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT
TREE!!"
 
 THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH
 IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"

 WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE
 LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE
 TRUNK.
 
 HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK.
 "THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.
 
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN
 THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
 
 THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE
 OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY

 TOOK A CRAP BEHIND IT!"

 HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!