MINIFIED
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sUSAn
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« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2011, 01:23:06 AM » |
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HR MINI'ers
Some of you have been on my email distribution list receiving the updates regarding Drew; others of you I know have prayed quietly and I am so grateful.
As you recall, I had concerns about posting personal and private information about Drew in a public forum without his consent, but not only do I feel that I owe you, my friends, my support - OUR support - an update, but I have secured Drew's permission to be able to do so. I am posting here my latest email update -- so for some of you it will be redundant and for that I apologize; the "mass" distribution still works best in juggling my obligations (as though the timestamp of this post isn't evidence enough of that!)
Thank you for your continued friendship and concern and I look will look forward to some MINI ventures, perhaps even with Drew as my co-pilot, sometime later in the spring. Happy Motoring in 2011!
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All:
We have made it to that year of 11’s .. recalling an earlier email update I have sent regarding Drew’s birthday this year of 11/11/11 .. and the year starting off as 1 1 11 .. ok, taking a little poetic liberty there with the formatting .. I am gladly welcoming 2011!
Shall I mention that I took a snapshot of the mileage on my CRV which not only ended in 11 … 98711… but, for those of you who have ever sent mail to my Post Office Box rather than my street address, you may recognize that as the Post Office Box number I have had since the 1990’s .. Ok, enough with my odd numbers fascination for this email.
Everyone has New Year’s goals, and from that we are not exempt. However, most people start their new year’s resolutions – their goals, on New Year’s – and then see how long the commitment lasts.
Our tactic this year was to set goals in advance of significant dates – remember, Rehab by Christmas? Drew’s New Year’s goal was to be “tube free”. We marked it on the calendar, December 16th, when he first moved to Rehab. Tube free translated into showers. Visits home. More independence. And Drew met those goals. By December 31st, Drew was tube-free: no more O2 tube, no more tracheostomy tube, and no more stomach/feeding tube.
I should be so lucky with the goals I’ve set to try and maintain for all of 2011 (of course I can’t divulge, that could result in ridicule when I fail!)
Drew likewise has goals for 2011. He wants to be able to go back to his job. He wants to be able to drive. He wants to remember the townhouse we diligently remind him that he bought a year and a half ago. He wants to be out of Wake Med. He wants to be a companion to Stephanie, meet her family, and continue progressing with their relationship. He wants to be able to separate an existence he too often feels like “is a dream” from reality. My hope for him is that he is able to obtain all of his goals and not be frustrated in the patience doing so will require.
2011 has certainly started off on a positive note. Drew was qualified for a day pass to go home on New Year’s Day. He was so anxiously anticipating a visit to this house, his childhood home, and being not only out of the hospital, but being in familiar territory. He could not only recall the layout of every room in this house, but when we pulled into the driveway (in the MINI Cooper, I might add – my original plan was to pick him up in the CRV expecting that vehicle, based on it’s height, would be easier for Drew to enter and egress given the spinal precautions (Drew still wears a cervical collar which he’ll hopefully be able to drop-kick as far away as he is able in about 10 more days!) and as soon as I announced the CRV plan to the therapist Drew was taken aback and said, “what no MINI Cooper?” so I instantly modified the choice of get-away vehicle) Drew looked at the house, declared he recognized it, and proclaimed there were less trees. I confirmed the accuracy of that declaration, and yea, some things never change, corrected his grammar to fewer trees, too :-)
We had a great visit! We surprised one neighbor with our arrival who over the years has grown so accustomed to there being a perpetual Palmer boy coming or going at this address she was then stunned to a trot on this occasion about “which” Palmer boy was arriving. My sister, Lynda, joined us for a short lunch visit. We shared a Celebration ice cream cake with a few long time neighbors. Drew relished not only the company of faces he recognized, people he has know his whole life, but the familiarity and comfort of this home. He took a long nap – the day’s activities were not as tiring as much as, per Drew, he was glad to be asleep not at the hospital and in his “own” bed. Like a mother watching her newborn sleep, just to witness the peace of the experience, I would peek in on Drew as the minutes turned into hours and only hoped he’d wake shortly so we could resume our visit, but I didn’t dare wake him; I was content to see him so contented.
The outings will continue to increase until Drew is ready to be released from inpatient rehab which is anticipated to be counted in weeks rather than months at this point. Physically, Drew will no longer have a need for the nursing care, and despite the wonderful attention he has received, and the comprehensive therapy schedule, the therapy will be able to be maintained on an outpatient basis.
Drew’s memory is the most significant remaining concern. He announced late last week that he felt like he was “wake” and “conscious” for the first time since the accident. He has been very conversant and seemingly cognizant for a few weeks, but the short term memory issues were most apparent. It seemed as though daily, sometimes hourly, he would need to be reminded, or at least prompted, of who had visited and what activities had transpired during the preceding hours.
On Sunday, December 26th, when I was procuring a snowshovel 24 hours too late, post first white Christmas in Raleigh in sixty-three years, I spotted packages of red licorice.
Recalling Drew’s fondness for Twizzlers, I added a package to the tab.
On my visit to the hospital that evening, I carried the package with me and fortunately Drew’s memory (which is fairly precise on memories dating back longer ago than about 2 years) had no lapse of his love of Twizzlers.
We shared a few and stashed the remainder of the package in a cardboard goodies box.
Tuesday night we shared a few more and had ½ package remaining when I returned it to the goodies box. We were having an enjoyable visit and it was a late night; I believe it was approaching the 11pm hour when I departed for home.
Wednesday night for whatever reason, the food service department at the hospital slacked off and neglected to include a dessert on Drew’s dinner tray. How dare they! But “in comfort” I teasingly reassured Drew that the absent dessert was of no concern; we still had half a package of Twizzler’s in which to indulge.
And Drew announced that No, in fact, it was all gone. He had eaten the remaining pieces earlier in the day. Oh perhaps at any other time I may have been disappointed that the goodies box was devoid of red licorice, but on this day, when I lifted the lid on the goodies box to reveal there was no Twizzler's package in it's contents, it was an absolute sign that his memory is working on improving. It was hard, undeniable evidence that an action from earlier in that same day, was still forged in his memory. Progress, continued progress ..
It remains a long road, but as long as Drew keeps up the determination and spirit, there will be endless continued progress ..
I have shared previously that when I first breached the doors of the Emergency Room on November 18th, 2010, I was chaperoned, alone, to a family waiting room where the hospital chaplain attempted to greet me. Certain I had correctly anticipated his purpose in being there, since he was the only one there, I’m afraid my eyes burned a hole through the “messenger” with something resembling extreme dislike because I mistakenly thought that he was the bearer of news worse than what was subsequently relayed.
I have felt a sense of guilt over my initial response to this man ever since, his well-meaning intentions were to offer comfort.
At the end of last week, I went to the hospital cafeteria on auto-pilot, constructed a salad also on auto-pilot, picked up a container labeled Ranch that was 99% depleted.
There was a second bottle of Ranch dressing in the iced basin. I completed the creation and peripherally noticed someone else reaching for the same all-but-empty Ranch dressing bottle and then returning it, likewise uninspired. Having just had the same experience, I peripherally pointed out that the second bottle of Ranch dressing was of more ample volume and at that point the hospital chaplain commented: Haven’t I met you?
When we have made an impression on another human being, don’t we universally hope it is for the “right” reason? A “positive” first impression. Forgive me, but I knew the impression I must have left was the type that does not get you called back for the follow-up interview. I nodded my head, scrambled at an apology infused with a status update regarding Drew, and an invitation to stop by and visit my miracle son.
Without his even saying so, I know this man understood that I, as a heart-broken, in-shock Mom, lashed out in pain, forgave me for that, and just as so many of you have done, prayed for my son and my family. I initially met him wearing something conspicuously resembling hate, but his last impression of my face was of my smiling. I can not express the sense of relief and pure joy to be able to be doing so.
I think of that as an analogy to my new year, too .. what resembled fear, panic, disbelief, and heart-ache at the wind down of the year concluded, I bid adieu to 2010 with a smile on my face as I anticipate the blessings of a new year and the promises it holds for Drew and our family.
I wish the same for all of you; from my whole heart, I thank you for your support, concern, care, love, and prayers in 2010 and greet 2011 with complete gratitude for all of you being in our lives.
Happy New Year,
Susan
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