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sUSAn
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« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2011, 11:30:11 AM » |
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Happy Mother's Day and Drew six months later ..
For those of you who are reading this, who are mothers, let me first say, Happy Mother’s Day! As remiss as I have been lately in keeping everyone updated, my intention was to commit to writing on the six month mark (May 18th). But on this most wonderful Mother’s Day weekend, I found it more appropriate, while recognizing how blessed I am, to send an update this date. And rest assured, there will not be one at the six month mark as life has been sufficiently status quo for the past month or so that I expect there will be no new news to share in ten days!
So what exactly has been transpiring in our household since my last post?
Drew continues to progress in his healing. Those who have not seen him in several months – most recently his brother, Kirk, who visited from LA this Mother’s Day weekend – are astounded. At Kirk’s last prior visit, Drew was mere days since the accident, was lying in a coma, and was completely unaware of Kirk’s presence. This past Thursday when Drew and I retrieved Kirk from the RDU airport, his astonishment at how far Drew has come was clearly visible on Kirk’s face. For those who see Drew on a regular basis, the changes have been more gradual, but no less impressive when reflected on in sum.
Physically, Drew’s energy levels are lower than would be expected for a twenty-eight year old, he fatigues more readily, and carrying anything of significant weight that he could have done with ease previously, is a bit of a struggle. Occasionally his left side stops “behaving” but with a bit of patience he is able to resume on his way. One impressive feature, and objectively measurable due to photos socially taken – for New Year's on his day pass from the hospital, at social gatherings of friends over the past few months – has been the progress is his left eye. For those who recall when Drew was discharged from the hospital in early January, his left eye was still closed. In time, he was able to “work” to keep it open, but it was still insistent that the world should appear in duplicate. Gradually his left eye progressed to almost mirroring the appearance of his right – someone would have to know the background, or be a professional, to recognize the slightest difference between the two as far as degree of open-ness. The left eyeball still lists to the left a bit, though Drew can force it in alignment. He can reduce the double vision left to right and has corrective lenses and exercises prescribed by the neuro-optomistrist to continue to reduce the up and down double vision. He has not yet been cleared to drive – a bit discouraging – but when reminded of how much progress he has made to date, we are mindful of the human body’s amazing ability to heal ..
While Drew will readily volunteer continued memory issues – and at one point we were told to anticipate that that which he did not recall by 3-4 months post accident he likely would never would – I find myself in disagreement with that prognosis. While Drew’s recall memory, especially for event details is lagging, I am constantly amazed as we are driving about when he sees, for example, the office of one of his clients from years prior, and he recognizes the building immediately and knows which products he had quoted on prior jobs. Last week we decided we were going to dine at a Jimmy Johns sandwich shop that was convenient to Wake Med/Cary where we were to attend a monthly brain injury support group (Drew with reluctance; but as I remind him on a regular basis, this is all new territory for me, and I need as much information and as many personal perspectives as I can get in a best attempt to support his continued progress) .. the specific Jimmy Johns location was not far from one of his prior residences. But the area has grown and changed so much over the past several years, it was no longer familiar to me. As we traversed along Tryon Road, Drew announced that the sandwich shop would be on the right, which it was, and as we approached the correct strip mall, he further announced it was in “that” shopping center. Perhaps if I asked him if he recalled dining there prior to the accident or how to get there, he would have had to decline knowing, but it was recognizable to him once the nearby area became familiar. To my untrained eye, my lay-mom experience, his memory unequivocally continues on a trajectory of improvement ..
Drew continues to participate in “real life” occupational therapy two days per week (now full days) where he is re-familiarizing himself with his job functions and his customers and co-workers and we are reminded how blessed we are that his company has been so supportive over the past few months. The company has had several Sales Events in the past few weeks in which Drew has participated and has earned several sales awards for his contribution. The positive encouragement from his manager and his teammates, coupled with the awards has been most satisfying. Getting back to full time employment is one of his greatest motivators – not only a feeling of accomplishment and contribution, but part of the path of letting the accident not define the rest of his life. The outpatient physical therapy at the hospital ended several weeks ago and we have been researching and investigating alternative options for productively filling weekday hours until Drew is ready to re-immerse in full time employment.
The “fun” stuff? Let’s see .. to recap .. a few that have been memorable. A solo plane trip to Florida to visit Stephanie and her family. A week later a long weekend to the North Carolina coastline. For those following my emails for months, you will recall that prior to the accident Drew had a high score in a game on his cell phone called Bejeweled of 140,000. While he was in a coma, his brothers, his Dad, and Stephanie, all downloaded the game to their phones to attempt to best his score – the idea being that should one of them prove successful, that should be sufficient motivation for Drew to get better and reclaim his top-scorer title! Along came the iPad version of the game when Drew was post coma, but not yet “awake”, and he set a new score of 311,000 points – a record that was duly recorded by cell phone photo as he would subsequently not remember it, nor believe it, without that photographic proof!
That record stood until late March when he topped out at 322,000 points .. see, multi-faceted improvement! (I am presently convinced that the game does involve strategy, and visual stimulation, so there is a redeeming value to it!)
You may recall – since you *were* invited! – that we hosted a Cars&Coffee&Quizno’s event to thank Drew’s supporters over the past few months and what a wonderful event that turned out to be! There were over 30 cars of the MINI Coopers and S2000 varieties including our respective club members who came quite a distance. The award for the driver who came the furthest went to an S2000 club member who made the trip from West Virginia (an impressive contingent as “2nd runner up” were the MINIs from Hampton Roads, VA); from Cars&Coffee Drew rode with one of the S2000 club members in a race version S2000 (many thanks!) over to Quizno’s where Ketan and Prerna fed over 50 friends for lunch. In a small world touch, I learned that Ketan also works at Misys Healthcare Systems – my former employer of nine years (our tenures did not cross)
The Desai’s had decorated the Quiznos for the occasion; it was apparent how well they do know Drew. A few prospective customers, upon opening the door and seeing the tables filled with friends, declined to join the party. The customers who did unite impromptu enjoyed Drew’s story and Congratulations cake. The award for the most creative use of dimes went to a long time neighbor of ours – who was also dubbed Santa Claus(a) over the holidays for gifting me the mercury dime necklace. Last, but not least, the award for drop-kicking the dispensable neckbrace the furthest went to Brian, whom I affectionately call my 4th son, but not before several others had some amusing attempts mangling it to indistinguishable. Drew personally put the finishing end on it, and I’ll let him tell you *that* story ..
Because my stories would not be complete without *some* odd numeric co-incidence, for those keeping track at home, I remind you that each Quizno’s combo cost each guest a dime – and at the end of the luncheon the dime tally was 55. Yes, a number divisible by 11. As was our portion of the total bill, divisible by 11, right down to the penny .. (Sorry if you are joining this email distribution list late and the significance of the number 11 is unfamiliar)
Cars. Cars. Cars. It should not be surprising that in this family, cars continue to be a primary source of entertainment. From hitting every variety of auto dealership in Wake County to test drive every conceivable model (Drew riding shotgun; the short list of S2000 replacement vehicles changes fairly regularly; forthcoming hybrid Hyundai topping the list currently) to multiple MINI Cooper driving and social events, to RC car races in Helen, Ga at a MINI event (Drew’s RC S2000 did beat my RC MINI. There, I put it in writing; he can honestly claim bragging rights now, right?) there are endless car stories and an equally endless number of car people willing to share entertaining stories. We went to a charity fund raiser at Virginia International Raceway (VIR) in April where Drew co-piloted for several kind-hearted MINI drivers and also a session with Pedro from the S2000 club. Cars even figured into Drew’s Mother’s Day gift to me as he volunteered to be my navigator for the Moonshine Rally in Elkin, NC this weekend.
You know, if you have followed Drew’s story of recovery since November, you know that I am fully convinced, as are many of his supporters, that Drew is a living miracle. I have to share this story I find so inspiring.
Drew and I were returning from Helenblitz, a MINI Cooper event that takes place in Helen, Ga each year (the idea being that MINIs take over – blitz – the town of Helen for the weekend) We were caravanning back to NC with 8 or 9 other MINIs with whom we had enjoyed spending the weekend. Drew was riding with another driver. On this portion of the return trip, I wasn’t running my GPS, I was just following the MINI in front of me. We were collectively headed east, I knew we’d get home eventually; we were in western NC and the roads and the weather and the spring on the cusp of blooming were enchanting; I did not want my mood distracted by Daniel (GPS voice) harping at me to make a turn ..
As we snaked through Highlands, NC and then came upon Cashiers, NC, I realized that we were in Transylvania County (all my travels with my job at the AOC do occasionally pay off!) and would soon be approaching Brevard, the county seat for Transylvania County. It was Sunday morning, about 10:45am.
During my time in Brevard with my job last year, I worked with a wonderful woman named Donna for the week. We hit it off to the extent that we dined together, hiked together, shopped together, and even attended her church together.
Several days immediately after Drew’s accident, Donna drove the almost 300 miles to visit Drew and me to see if there was any help she could offer. And of course to pray. Donna prayed with me, and she prayed with Drew when she visited him in the intensive care as I know many others have done, too.
As we approached Brevard, I was in a quandary. Drew was among our group. I felt certain that Donna would have been disappointed to find out we had been so close, but had not stopped to visit.
But it was just about 11am and I knew, since I had joined Donna for the church service previously that she would be in church at this time.
And then there was the consideration of the other MINIs in the group traveling with us who had an agenda and a destination neither of which included a protracted stay in Brevard.
I dialed her cell number.
No answer.
Of course not, my heart knew, as she was in church. I took a chance on a text message. Donna has a job that might require she always be reach-able.
And I got a text message reply.
Yes, she was in church, 20 miles away but the service was almost over and she could be on her way and back in Brevard by 11:30, could we wait?
The MINIs were due for a leg-stretch stop anyway (OK, honest, the MINI drivers were due for a pit-stop!) so we stopped, and stalled, and I explained my story and allowed for anyone who could not wait to go ahead on without us. I could not allow this opportunity for Donna to see Drew, my alive, whole, healing, miracle son to pass by; after all, the last time she had seen him, he was in a coma.
Everyone willingly waited with us.
Twenty minutes later Donna and her friend, Barbara pulled up. They are indeed amazed. Donna thanks the group for waiting to share the miracle of Drew.
There was something profound – and still is – in my mind about the idea that we go to church, and we pray for people we care about and love, and we pray for goodness in the world, and for the less fortunate, and we hold out hope that perhaps God will personally show us a miracle.
Donna had no way to know to expect our MINI caravan. She was in church on an ordinary Sunday and she got a random, unexpected text message. God answers so many prayers in only ways that He can understand, but some of us, occasionally, get to peek.
How many random, unexplained sole dimes have I crossed up over the past six months? I have believed them to be my signs that my son would be OK.
After we caught up and chatted for a few minutes, our MINI caravan exited east.
Shortly thereafter, Donna sent me a text message that said Thank You for letting her see the miracle of Drew. On her birthday, no less.
Thank all of you for sharing my stories over the past six months and for your prayers and support and encouragement. As a mother I have been so tested and I could not have endured the pain, and the stress, and the trials without you.
And on this Mother’s Day I am able to say that I am so blessed to be able to also share the answer to so many of my prayers in the fact that I have three wonderful, amazing, remarkable sons that I love from my whole heart.
Where there is life, and therefore God, there is Hope.
In gratitude,
Susan
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